and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
