from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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