AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
