dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize