Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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