My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize