i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
