you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
