some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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