i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just want to make out with him forever
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
