We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
