"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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