she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
