I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
