I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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