watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
