Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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