Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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