hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Randomize
