I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
i out mim tonsoeep
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
