So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
