My nipple is on Facebook.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
