just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
