i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
