Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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