it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
