well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
