the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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