lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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