It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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