Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
