Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
