I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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