she was so not down for the gang bang
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
