My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Pooping to opera.
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