It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
