she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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