super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
