Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
