Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
