Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
