i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
