I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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