Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
