i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
