u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
