Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize