Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
