i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
