I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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