There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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