he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
