the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
