Soap is not a condiment
he thought i was a dude.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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