Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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