just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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