All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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