Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Your dad touched me again.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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